Pass Go.

Monopoly was never my favorite game. It always irritated me how long it took and how many times I had to pass go to get a little cash in the bank and buy more properties. Then there were the numerous land mines along the way: trying to avoid landing on someone's expensive property and paying rent; trying to stay out of jail; holding my breath whenever I drew a "chance" card.

That's how weight gain and loss feel to me. I've been around and around this game board many times. Only, on my most recent trip around, I didn't collect $200, I collected $25 lbs. I suppose the optimistic approach is to look at this as a fresh start. But I'm sitting here in the Auraria Campus library, I'm 38 years old, and this morning I clocked in at 197 lbs. That's the heaviest I have ever been in my entire life. And I'm kissing the 200 lb. mark, which is a place I swore I would never be.

Years ago, on one of my weight loss summers, I journaled on a blog about my experiences. It seemed to help, so I'm trying that tactic again on this blog. I need to get to the bottom of why I overeat, and why I seem to put weight on faster than I take it off.

I claim to be a pretty active person. I'm up and out of the house every day (even during the summer). I run - training runs and in races. I go to the gym where I do Dance Jam, Yoga, and Zumba. I do yard work: I mow, trim, dig, plant, and kill weeds and ants. I don't think of myself as sedentary. Though, the cinema verite camera of my mind shows me spending many of my evenings on the couch eating chips and watching movies. My nighttime eating is something I have never conquered - mindless eating in general has been a long time problem for me. 

I've also gained these pounds in three years of knowing and loving Jim. I wouldn't trade my time with him for anything. However, our relationship has brought certain challenges into the mix for my experience with weight. I stay up late texting with Jim and sometimes I don't get enough sleep or I don't wake up in time for my morning work-out. It's difficult to divide my time between Westminster and Colorado Springs. It's difficult to plan and cook my meals, as well as resist temptation when his house is full of junk food. Difficult, but not impossible. 

So far today I have felt relatively in control. Weighing myself this morning was sobering, even though I've been weighing myself regularly and I saw the pounds creeping upward. I did not succeed in my goal to wake up and go running. However, I managed a healthy breakfast of dried apricots and I had salad at the salad bar for lunch. I feel awake with a decent amount of energy, though my throat is a little sore and my sinuses feel a bit painful. Probably allergy related. As is typical for me, I'm spending time in various books and on several different web sites trying to get to the bottom of my issue.

I finished lunch and read for about an hour. Now I'm starting to feel sleepy and I need to stretch. I'll walk back to the classroom and see how I feel there. 

NOTES ON MY READING: 

Key Points: 

• At least seven good hours of sleep per night.
• More (high water) fruits and veggies; specifically asparagus, spinach, oatmeal, whole grains, and beans.
• Strength training three times a week.
• 60 Min. of exercise per day.
• Cut back on soft drinks and white flours

From The End of Overeating

“Most people do a poor job of reporting what they eat, and overweight people are particularly inaccurate reporters. So much of our eating takes place outside our awareness, that it’s easy to underestimate how much food we actually put into our bodies.” I need to commit to being more diligent about tracking, and I need to submit my journal on My Fitness Pal at the end of the day.

From the Women's Health Weight Loss Guide

• If I'm going to work out in the morning, I need to ensure that I get at least seven hours of sleep a night. This means FALLING ASLEEP (not just going to bed) by 10:00 PM. I think I need about an hour to fall asleep, which means my bedtime has to be 9:00 PM with a book.
• Sleep impacts appetite regulating hormones gherkin and leptin.
• I need to build more lean muscle mass. More muscle mass means burning more calories - even while sitting. I need strength training at least twice a week and at least 60 minutes of exercise per day.
• Fill up on water-rich foods: fruits, veggies, broth-based (low sodium) soups, oatmeal, whole grains, and beans.

Hormones - the ebb and flow of hormones controls almost every aspect of your weight, from when you get hungry to where you're likely to store fat. When your body thinks it's starving, your metabolism slows down and your brain sends out constant hunger signals.

• Leptin: produced by fat cells, it plays a role in appetite control. Leptin resistance - people with excess body fat have this. it means the brain isn't affected by leptin even though your body has an excess of it. Excess fat cells block the action of leptin and your brain thinks it's starving. Vegetables contain essential antioxidants and vitamins that help reduce the inflammation that interferes with leptin. Try to eat one cup of vegetables before 10:00 AM each day. 
• Cortisol and Serotonin: Adrenal glands release cortisol, a stress hormone (especially on stressful days).  It's supposed to give you a burst of energy for fighting or fleeing, but if the level remains high due to sustained stress, it causes you to crave high sugar or high carb foods. (Some evidence suggests that cortisol causes you to accumulate fat in your belly.) Serotonin has the opposite effect: it calms you down and suppresses your appetite.  Increase B vitamins through lentils, asparagus, and spinach. Your brain uses these B vitamins to produce more serotonin. Getting enough sleep also reduces the amount of cortisol.
• Insulin: Carbs and sugars make your blood sugar skyrocket; the body releases insulin, whose job it is to pull excess sugar from the bloodstream. This creates excess calories that are stored as fat. Severely cut back on soft drinks and white flours. 

Things that derail your diet:

• Saturated fats (bacon, cheese) impair your brain's ability to regulate appetite; you don't realize you're full until you've eaten way too much. This can last for up to three days (as long as it takes to flush those fats from your system.)
• Sugar releases more ghrelin, which increases cravings for even more sugar. 
• Your brain has developed a system of rewards that gives you a real high when you eat sugar and fat. The combination of endorphins that are chemically similar to morphine and heroin. It makes you want another fix when the initial euphoria begins to fade.